No duh, huh? But I did take a lifesaving class in college because it was a 5:1 girl to guy ratio. However, if you see me in the water coming to save you, be afraid, be very afraid.
I used @TheJackB’s picture above BTW, since he told me he was a swimmer. I thought he would at least have a better tan being from California. I am much more svelte and tan than that…….well, maybe more tan………ok, ok, my tan isn’t as good either and that’s not Jack but this is my damn post so I can be anybody I want to. Plus, all insurance guys know there is no diving allowed in 5 ft of water…..at least sober.
So, what’s with the swimming story then?
Sumbich, I hurt my foot playing tennis about 3 months ago and was hoping it would get better on its own. I quit running and kept tennis to once a week; maybe I should have played more tennis…..
I finally went to the doctor and he asked “does it hurt when you play tennis?” I replied “yes” so he then said “well, don’t do that.” However, he said, it would be perfectly fine for you to swim instead.
Lovely; don’t you have a magic boot I can wear so I can keep playing tennis? I found out he has a boot for me alright but it’s not exactly conducive to tennis. In fact, he has shut me down for 6 weeks.
I guess I better grow gills I suppose.
It’s not that I can’t do it
I can swim ok, but as a form of exercise…..not so good; I’d rather be diving for lobster in the Keys. It I ever signed up for a triathalon, swimming would be my downfall. I would have to stay close to the shore so I could touch bottom if necessary; otherwise, there is a good chance my whole body would be touching bottom at some point in time.
Our local YMCA has a very nice 25 meter pool with lanes. Did you know you were supposed to share these lanes? Sumbich again; now I have somebody in my lane pushing me and I’ve already run into them about 3 times when we pass each other. And why does the lifeguard feel it’s necessary to ‘walk’ along with me while I’m thrashing………er, uh swimming my laps?
But you are so fashionable
Sumbich three; I really don’t own a Speedo, that was a myth. I caught so much grief wearing running shorts back in the day, there is no way I’m going to stuff my fat, white, pasty ass in a banana hammock to swim in a pool that is already quite chilly. It would be like trying to stuff a football in a tube sock.
Therefore, I’m relegated to a pair of cut-off jeans, which is certainly acceptable where I live, but not quite the sleek look I was hoping to achieve.
I wonder if the YMCA still lets people swim nekkid anymore?
Too late, I’m all in
I guess I’m committed at this point; I actually went out and bought goggles, so how many laps do I need to swim to at least get my money’s worth? ‘They’ say I will get better if I just stick with it………..hmmm, some people think running is boring; running I could do in my sleep which I did most of the time anyway. This swimming gig is not working out so well for me.
I had big plans getting this lard ass back in shape this year, but I’ve been pretty much dinged up so far, which bites the big one. Don’t they have a pill for this?
How can I be body beautiful if I have Dunlap going on?
The moral of this story
I’m really lazy.
The story is mostly true in it’s entirety; hopefully my friend Jack has a sense of humor. Looks like I will be swimming for the next few weeks; that.is.all.