Call it Amnesty Day if you will, but this is me being the magnanimous guy that I am, wiping the slate clean for all the douchebags who have perpetrated any social slight of me publicly during my online journey. I know, I know, it is pretty damn big of me but just shows what a stand-up guy I really am and can rise above ‘petty’.
What? It was all in my mind? You mean to say none of that douchebaggery was directed specifically at me? Can’t I at least be a little bit offended when a friend comes out with a list of 199 bloggers you really must follow and I didn’t even make ‘honorable mention’. Sheesh……what can I whine about then, certainly not my hair?
I know people; I don’t get mad, I get even. If you have seen any of the posts about how your online presence lives on when you are gone; well, you can forget about that too because I will make sure you are less than zero; invisible would be a step up.
Naaaahhhh, I love all of ya; you should know by now I’m a lover, not a fighter. Everybody is welcome here, even if you did take a dump on my lawn which I promptly stepped in while doing yard work. I gladly scraped that reeking mess off my shoe even after taking an ass whippin’ for tracking it all through the house. Turn the other cheek, right?
But what about….
Yeah, I know somebody ‘intentionally’ un-followed me which was unsettling because I thought we were friends; I even wrote a post about it. But you know what, we would still have a drink together and have a few laughs. I’m sure his reasoning was sound in his mind and had very little to do with me personally. See, I’m still a glass half-full kind of guy. Maybe naive at times, but everybody loves Billy, right?
Much ado about nothing
Oh, I could bitch and moan about this or that but what would it accomplish? Maybe a few more post ideas, but then people would start to think of me as ‘that guy’, huh? Whatever you do, don’t make eye contact or ask him how he is doing…..
I’ll make a deal with you however; I’ll worry about my stuff and what I can control, and I will let you do the same. How does that sound? In my humble opinion, life’s too short to do otherwise. I mean really, how important is most of this?
Yes, I will be the next ‘big’ thing
At least in my own mind; if I wasn’t such a sloth-like, lazy ass and if I had somebody doing all this crap for me, I really think I could blow it up…..seriously…..I could be somebody.
What if I told you I’m already big enough? What if I told you I have no specific goals for this blog? I know, no big surprise, huh? For a guy whose extent of my ‘A’ game is ‘just showing up’ I think I’m actually doing alright in here. Now if I could just get someone to at least give me beer money for the ‘showing up’ part, that would be totally awesome. Because as the ‘just show up’ guy, of course I didn’t bring any beer with me…..imagine that…..
It’s here but I won’t be ‘showing up’ at this event; and that’s a shame. Because it’s an event I could ‘just show up’ and see a lot of my peeps and even be social. Being social is something I am very comfortable doing; maybe somebody can pay me for that too? That doesn’t sound like a bad business model…….oh wait, I’m already doing it in my day job.
For those who are attending, I hope you have a great time. Maybe one of these days I can get a hall pass and attend one. Then you can see for yourself that I am really much cooler and better looking in real life….or not.
Next week, we’ll talk about….
What is the optimal twitter follow to follower ratio and why you shouldn’t have an ‘egg’ head. Until then, have a lovely week.