It’s a good thing this is the internet, or I don’t think my ‘handler‘ would approve of me telling this story. However, reflecting on everything I’ve left behind, it’s worth sharing. Plus, I’m invisible anyway, right?
It was like any other day
There was nothing remarkable about the day, it started like so many others. The weather was relatively mild with low humidity and a slight breeze in the air. The air was fresh and seemed to have all the earmarks of a day filled with tremendous opportunities. It was a really good hair day.
As I pulled into the office a man drops from the sky with a parachute on. He has a large ruck sack strapped to his back and this wild eyed look.
He runs to my car and I exclaim, “wow, that was pretty cool; where in the heck did you come from”? He mumbled something about not wanting to fly all the way to Tampa International Airport and decided to leave the plane early. I didn’t know exiting early was an option but with all the extreme sports that seem to be in vogue now, I assumed they will let you do just about anything except carry a large bottle of shampoo on the plane.
He said, “I really need a ride….quick”. He asked if I could take him to the Green Swamp. Being the nice guy that I am, I told him I would be glad to get him out there.
“By the way, my name is Bill and I’m a pretty big deal in social, what is your name”. “Dan, Dan Cooper“, he said “and I should be a pretty big deal soon too”.
‘They say’ the rest is history
It ends up his ruck sack was filled with money, and I mean lots of money. I challenged him to see if we could spend it all in one day. Because I am still such a ‘nice guy’, he said “what the heck, easy come easy go, right”?
What ‘they‘ didn’t know is, we decided to go to the beach first. We lounged on the beach under the cabana, being served by gorgeous nubile bikini clad lovelies until we had our fill.
We then made our way to the country club and outfitted ourselves with a complete set of TaylorMade golf clubs, attire and accessories. We played a round of golf with our own personal cart girl, and we were just getting started.
We got a chauffeur, had dinner at Bern’s Steakhouse and ate and drank more than the law should allow. We also made our presence known at a few of the nicer ‘gentleman‘ establishments, but since this is a family site we won’t go into too much detail.
What happened next?
Well, after we blew through all of the money I finally took him out to the green swamp as he requested and he was never to be seen or heard from again. The paper picked up on the ‘alleged‘ hijacking and started calling him DB Cooper for some reason; but he will always be my friend Dan.
Me? It was much easier for me to enter the witness protection program than go back home. Yes, that might seem pretty harsh, but trust me it was easiest way out.
The moral of the story?
When opportunity knocks, you better be ready to answer the door; live life with no regrets.
If you hear of any ‘Dorman‘ sightings, now you know ‘the rest of the story’.