Is perception reality? It might as well be and having said that, what is your persona and how different is it from reality?
The white rabbit was in reference to the Matrix movie, but essentially dealt with a ‘real’ world and one that was not. It was hard to tell what was real. I also wanted to include a tattoo reference because it ties in with my message.
I have read the posts where people think you shouldn’t judge someone based on their persona, their words or their appearance. And I will be the first to say sometime we need to be much less judgmental before we know the person or all the ‘facts’. However, impressions can be powerful and lasting and makes it hard to be totally objective if all the stimuli is telling you one thing but the person is saying something entirely different.
Judge not lest you be judged
Let me go biblical for a moment but offer this explanation.
Usually that verse is used like a hammer to immediately stop any discussion about the rightness or wrongness of a persons behavior. Almost invariably if someone claims that a certain action or behavior is wrong, someone will say, “But we are not to judge anyone”. The clear implication is that we can never say if some behavior or actions are ok or not because we are not to judge. Sometimes these words are shouted out in anger and rage, “You can’t judge me!”.
What is possibly more amazing than the fact that so many people quote this biblical verse and the concept of not judging, is that so many people could get the real meaning so completely wrong. This is especially true since the context in the Good Book makes it clear what the intent was. It was written that we should not judge unless we be judged also, it was not saying that we are to never judge if behavior is right or wrong. What it does is gives us caution to make sure that we are willing to be judged by the same standard of judgment. This verse is not a warning against judging an action. It is a warning against self deception and hypocrisy; a look in the mirror if you will.
In other words, maybe don’t be so quick to judge, right?
Hi, my name is….
How important are first impressions? Usually when we meet somebody for the first time, our judgment begins with anything that affects our five senses; but primarily our sense of sight, smell, hearing, and in some cases touch. I’ve left out taste because unless you’re a cannibal or Edward Cullen, this really shouldn’t be a sense that plays into a first impression! Everything from our appearance, how we talk, and whether or not we practice good hygiene (your nose will let you know that right away) is immediately jotted down in another individual’s thought. Depending how we evaluate these things, it plays a part in a person’s initial bias towards us.
Can you make a second first impression; can you overcome this initial bias?
Lori Gosselin had a great post at Life for Instance on this very topic; see how her community weighed in.
You can’t judge a book by it’s cover
Or can you? If somebody has pre-judged you, is it the same as reality; even if it couldn’t be further from the truth?
What made me think to write this post was reading Erika Napoletano’s Bitch Slap last week. She had taken offense to somebody ‘suggesting’ what people’s impression of her is based on her appearance and choice of words. I hope I took the right meaning from her post, ’cause she will bitch slap ya…..I’ve seen it…..
My point is:
We are all going to pre-judge to a certain degree based on the stimuli we are receiving. Therefore, are you selling out if you don’t think you are being the ‘real’ you in the way you dress and talk because you feel you need to conform to ‘fit in’?
Should we be able to withhold all judgment until we actually get to know someone and make sure we don’t make assumptions unless we have walked a mile in their shoes?
I know there is no right or wrong answer, but where is the happy medium? Who are we to judge, right?